Struggling with not-wordiness but must get this response to fat hatred and medical punishment (by refusal to help/pay for medical expenses) for "individual risk-taking" out:

If criminals aren't responsible for their choices because they grew up in a racist/poor/bad family etc. environment and we should rehabilitate them instead of incarcerating them, why does my fat/asthma/allergies mean I made a bad choice and other people shouldn't have to pay for my health care?

I was going to title this "recent knitting" but some of it isn't very recent.

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There are a couple of other things but they're Hanukkah gifts so photos will have to wait.

You can't just walk through a doorway or put on a different jacket and become a crone. It's just as well, for me, that I can make the transition gradually, and more like the tide coming in and going out than a miraculous, instantaneous transition...but one thing is really bugging me lately.

I've been growing my hair out for the last two years, partly because I was feeling less feminine than I wanted to and partly because I was tired of going for, and paying for, regular hair cuts to keep it as little daily work as possible. In that time it has grown from about jaw-length (with short bangs) to the middle of my back (the bangs have grown to about 2 inches below my jaw). I'm very happy with it: the length feels good on my back and neck, it's easy to keep out of my face (eyes especially), and it's a dream to care for: wash and air dry once a week, then put in a headband or barrette to hold it back all day.

However, over the last few months what I was calling hot flashes turned into the real thing. Apparently I've been having "warm" flashes for the past few years because these are almost an entirely different experience: in just a few seconds I go from normal to AMAZING (and I mean I am amazed, not in a good way). I flush red from the chest up, I burst into a sweat in areas I've never sweated before (forearms! face!), and I am undeniably HOT, hot enough to get the urge every single time to strip out of all my clothes and jump into a snowbank.

This happens several times a day, likewise at night. At home I dress for it: short sleeve, loose cotton tops and jeans, with a cardigan for when I'm not having a hot flash (can't get a pullover off fast enough when it hits). We keep our bedroom unheated so at night I can just kick off the covers for a few minutes to cool off, then get back to sleep reasonably quickly.

But at work it's a different story. First, I have to dress "business casual," and there's only so much jumping up to strip off a sweater or jacket that I have time for. Second, I have to dress for the outdoors part of my commute as well as being in the office--and it's a drag to put on two sweaters and a heavy coat, unwrap at work and then rewrap to go home, plus store them during the day. I try to compromise: longer sleeves but still simple clothes, and always that lightweight extra layer to add or subtract depending. I also bought a small fan for my desk and I switch that on and off so many times I think the switch will wear out before the rest of it does.

The worst part is that after growing out my hair and enjoying it so much, I keep wanting to cut off all my hair so I can radiate heat from my head better, and so the fan could blow cooling air across my scalp to relieve the hot flashes. I wouldn't like the look or feel any other time, but some days it seems worth it.

So the hair stays, because most of the time I take great pleasure in it. The hot flashes are temporary, after all, and I'm learning ways to deal with them--deep breathing, calm thoughts, a quick ice cube down my back. But I will be glad to be done with them when that time comes.

I've been busy today. After the morning routine of exercise, shower, breakfast, and meds, I started working on the blouse I cut out last night. Fused the interfacing to the facing pieces and sewed them; basted down the pleats in the front and sewed the entire bodice together (fronts and backs) along with finishing all the seams. On a break I practiced piano.

I stopped at about 10:30 am to run errands: bank, new neighborhood yarn store, and bakery for lunch. After waking up sinanju/sinanju and eating our lunches we did the supposed-to-be-weekly financial meeting, planning our spending for the next week and paying the few non-routine bills (mostly medical) that had come since our last meeting. We ended by talking about our finances over the next few months, a conversation I'd been wanting to have for weeks.

More sewing, more piano, then dinner out. I've sewn a bit more but as my mistake rate went up I realized I was too tired to do any more tonight. I wasn't too tired to give piano another 15 minutes though, and I'm starting to get about half of the songs I need to learn for my next lesson (which won't be for 2 weeks because of Thanksgiving).

I'm pleasantly tired and relaxed, and it's a wonderful feeling.

Just like an update, no really! I'm well. Tried easing off one of my meds to no avail, had to jump back up to the regular dose--will try again in a month when the new allergy/asthma med has built up in my system. Very busy and productive but in the maintenance sense rather than creative: I've been cleaning and organizing during all my spare time.

Except for the 2 or 3 times a day I practice piano. I found a teacher and had a first lesson which was fruitful. He had to cancel for medical reasons last week so tonight will be our second lesson. I'm both excited and afraid about this project: I don't think I'll be a quick success at this, like so many other things, so the discipline of sticking to it on a daily basis for months or years without that instant achievement of mastery is new to me. But I can't ever not be learning something, I go into a rapid decline or, at best, get stuck in a rut.

I also had the idea for a mashup among my sewing patterns: the tank top I made so many of last summer and adored wearing with the sleeves from the blouse I finished about a month ago. I re-organized my sewing stuff during the general buff-up over the last few weeks and last night I pulled out the two patterns and my fabric, figured out which fabric I wanted to make into a blouse, and traced off some changes to the pattern pieces I'll be using. The fabric is cotton, a tiny pink and white mixed floral on black. I'm also thinking about some kind of embellishment--maybe some narrow black velvet ribbon in bands around the neckline and cuffs, I'll have to work it out.

Next week is Thanksgiving and Orycon 31, and I'm looking forward to both. I'll have my kids and grandkids for T-day for the first time! And Orycon means socializing with friends and acquaintances (and maybe even some panels, who knows).

What's new with you? Plans for (US) Thanksgiving? Coming to Orycon and want to meet for a drink or a meal? Speak up!

to firecat!

I enjoyed this juvenile in which a post-apocalyptic culture adopts the practice of tribute from the ancient Greeks, drafting a young woman and a young man from each of the 12 states in its unity to participate in annual "hunger games," a last-man-standing circus of death in a new artificial environment each year. Told in the first person by a young woman who has been struggling to feed her mother and sister by forbidden hunting outside the boundary wall, there is the beginnings of romance, treachery, double-dealing, and a lesson on the danger of becoming famous when the politically powerful don't want you to be.

This memoir is hilarious. I literally laughed out loud many times while reading it. Carrie Fisher tells what she can remember (subsequent to electroshock therapy) of her life, her additions and recoveries, her parents' complicated love lives and fame, her own early crushes and loves, and why Cary Grant did an intervention on her. Yes, Cary Grant!

Complex worldbuilding, interesting characters, a slow start, this novel examines the uses of power and self-destruction for a greater good. Alternating viewpoint characters from different cultures in a decadent world with interesting and varied kinds of magic fight slavery and genocide, seek love and fulfillment, and explore a mystery.

I liked it.

If I were trying on this blouse in the store, I wouldn't buy it. But it's wearable. I did a simple 1/4 inch hem on the sleeves, which I'd like to change next time to a hemmed slit with no cuff or closure--I have that sleeve treatment on another blouse and I really like it. I finished all the seams with purchased bias binding, which makes the inside of the blouse very clean-looking and eliminates itches and annoyance from loose threads.

I finally just forced the sleeves into the armscye, making sure there was enough fabric in the top front and gathering a lot in the back. It's...okay. I checked the pattern pieces and I did make a big change to the shape of the armscye, which affected the fit of the sleeve.

Unfortunately I really like the armscye, so I'd rather work on fixing the sleeve than redraft the front piece to retain the previous armscye. The new shape is very close to the body at the underarm, which is more flattering. I know how to take out the slightly-gathered sleeve cap, at least in theory, but I'm not sure how to change the shape of the sleeve, so experimentation will be in order. The sleeve is also very loose so I'll take it in a bit. And actually I'll probably have a go at redrafting the front anyway, in case that turns out to be a better solution overall.

I also need to add an inch or two at center front, curving it up to meet the side seam without lengthening that seam.

Otherwise I'm happy with the blouse. The fabric drape and color is good on me, the shape of the blouse is good, and I'm satisfied with the quality of my work. If I can get the sleeve fitting problem licked this will turn into another Tried 'N' True pattern for me.

Photo to come.

And many happy returns of the day!

I need help printing an article from Wikipedia. I need to print the edit page showing particular text insertions with the information about who made the edits and when. I'm using Firefox in Windows XP, and when I try to preview the print job, I only get part of the text in the editing box (which is a scroll-down). Anybody have a suggestion?

Edited to add: A friend opened the page in Chrome, made a PDF, and emailed it to me. Thanks!

Here she is...

Hitting the road in a few minutes to go see my new granddaughter, born this morning! She's 7 lbs 2.2 oz, 19 inches long.

Sleeves--I had no idea how complicated sleeves are.

When I started this blouse I knew I had a lot of fitting changes to make, and that I didn't really understand how what the books said to do made the flat pieces of fabric fit around my non-flat body. But I'm pretty good at figuring things out and I didn't have too much trouble working out darts.

Sleeves are a whole 'nother animal. Or maybe not even an animal--some kind of light wavicle.

This is because our arms hang off the front of our shoulders, not the sides (silly me!). The arm hole in a blouse (technically called an armscye) is roughly an ellipse skewed in all 3 dimensions, and the sleeve that fits into that armhole doesn't stick straight out, it hangs down and toward the front (as opposed to the back of the body). So the top of the sleeve is a line (the edge of the fabric) drawn in 3-dimensional space that fits precisely into the armscye. Remember, both the top line of the sleeve and the ellipse of the armscye are formed from flat pieces of fabric!

The sleeve on this blouse is in 2 pieces, a top (the outside of your arm) and a bottom (the part of your arm next to your body, when your arm is hanging at your side). This is good design because it gives more opportunities for customizing the fit--say, if you have an extra big bicep compared to your lower arm, or a longer lower arm (so the elbow is relatively higher on the length of the sleeve), you can fiddle with the measurements for better fit. It also makes it much easier to have a sleeve that is not a tube that sticks out straight, but a shape that hangs the way your arm hangs--a little in front of the centerline of your body, at an angle, and with your elbow slightly bent toward the front.

The only changes I made to the sleeve pattern before cutting out were to the above- and below-elbow lengths. Again, this pattern was made for a woman who is 5'2" and I am 5'6", so I will always adjust for length. The pattern specifies the above- and below-elbow measurements, so I could compare mine and get the right amount of additional length in each section, while keeping the elbow pivot point in the right place. I made a big mistake sewing the sleeve pieces together: I put the left undersleeve on the right upper sleeve. I must have been tired because it's very obvious that they don't match up, and it was easy to rip the seams and fix the next day.

This morning I tried to insert one sleeve into the bodice. The undersleeve is wider than the marks I'm supposed to pin it to on the bodice, and there is no instruction to gather there (nor should there be--I don't want bunched fabric at my underarm). The upper sleeve is supposed to be gathered just a little, which is a design error (a well-designed sleeve doesn't have to be eased into the armscye), but I'm willing to work with it--but even ungathered it isn't long enough to fit between the marks on the bodice.

I basted it in anyway, and held the garment up. From the front the sleeve doesn't hang right. I didn't have time to try it on before work, so I'll work on it after dinner tonight. I don't know exactly what's wrong yet (I suspect the undersleeve is too wide and I may have sewn the seam with too wide a seam allowance), but I don't feel completely at a loss, either. I'm feeling my way through on this one.

Boosting the signal--this is not about Polanski.

Tinywarior on what 13-year-old girls, and 5-year-old boys, and all children want: love. Not sex, love.

There is apparently a fad for putting up videos of toddlers (often wearing only a diaper, usually girls) dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies," mimicking to the best of their ability the complex dance moves in the video. I'm not linking them but they're not hard to find.

Apparently it really is never too early to oversexualize your children. WTF????

What I like about sewing right now is that I'm still bad enough at it. Bad enough that I can't do it while I'm tired, I'll make too many mistakes. Bad enough that when I'm trying something new, I'm not sure whether I'll get it right. Bad enough that I learn so much from my mistakes, because I'm happy I know enough to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from it, and I can just barely make out how I might fix it.

This weekend I have been working on learning about fitting. I want to make a long-sleeved blouse (and then I hope I will like it and make a few more--this is the hole in my winter wardrobe). I have been looking at patterns for months, trying to find a blouse I like, without success. However, I have a book on sewing for plus-size women that includes patterns--and one of them is a blouse. The book includes a chapter on fitting.

I compared my measurements to the book's model for the patterns and found that I needed to make a lot of fitting changes! The model for these patterns was only 5'2" and I am 5'6", so I needed to add length (to the bodice and the sleeves). I also needed to add width at the waist, because the model has an hourglass figure and I don't. I needed to make the shoulders a tad narrower and slope them. And I needed to change the bust dart, moving the apex and making the dart bigger. I read through the instructions several times, visualizing what I needed to do. I checked my measurements. And I spent a couple of hours first tracing the patterns onto tracing paper, then penciling in my proposed changes and checking the book.

Making the changes meant redrawing some lines, and cutting the pattern pieces apart to add additional paper in some places. There was much taping, the ruler got a work-out, and I kept detailed notes in a spiral notebook in blue pen of the changes I'd made to each piece. Example: On sleeve, added 2 5/8 inches length above elbow, 2 inches below elbow.

The only way to really tell whether I'd done it right was to cut and sew a sample, so I did. Just the fronts, backs, and one sleeve (all it takes to check fit). I finished it and discovered I'd mostly done the fitting right! The easy parts are perfect: length, shoulders. One of the hard parts only needs a minor fix: I made the blouse too wide, I can pinch doubled fabric at each side about 2 inches wide. The other hard part needs a different fix, and I can't tell yet whether it will be minor or major: the bust dart is wrong. I think it's the right depth, but the dart point is too far towards the center front, and I am too tired (brain-tired) to work it out just yet.

I made red-pen corrections to my notes but I've put the project aside for a day or two before making the changes to my pattern and my sample.

I need to let my book larnin' and my experience stew a bit before I work on this project again. At the same time I'm afraid of forgetting what I worked so hard to learn!

I love being right here in the learning process. The work is complex enough that I really have to work on it to get it right; I know just barely enough to work out what I'm supposed to do, and I'm not quite sure I can do it. I am joyful when I get it right, because it's not coming easily to me, I have to work hard.

Tonight just before sunset we will begin the 24-hour task of asking G-d for forgiveness for the sins we have committed against him. In order to show we are penitent, we fast from sunset tonight until sunset tomorrow.

You can't ask G-d for forgiveness for acts committed against your fellow humans, they have to forgive you for those.

I don't actually fast for medical reasons, but may you have an easy fast, and may you be sealed in the Book of Life for a sweet and good year.

I'm struggling with being self-centered, and one of the tricks I'm trying is to think about why I want to add something to a conversation. If it's just to insert myself, I don't want to express it; if I'm adding content or expressing sympathy, then I do.

Online I'm also trying to add a comment to show that I've read and appreciated the work. In person this is often accomplished non-verbally, but that's *really* hard to do online. ;)